Notes concerning all of this...

There is this fear of something huge that is about to happen.
And we know there is no way out of it.
Its being prepared since long ago, as the winter prepare the spring to come underneath the snow. Quietly and laboriously.
The events are happening separate but they are all part of the same net, the same track which is taking us to the big road. The place were every way goes to.
By accumulation or juxtaposition of situations and choices its all pointing to the same ending. Life is very predictable.
Its our job to make it the softest way possible. But some of the cuts we make are just rough.
To kill is our talent. Its what we are made of and for.
Instinctively we find different manners to play the role of murder. In a more or less cruel way; according to the occasion. This data is hidden in our skin as much as in the air. Its an eternal feeding of death in order of life to continue, keep its way and surf its dramatic waves.

To be scared is part of it. There is nothing new about that. But there are somethings that can make it so much harder. And its very ironic that the things which can make us feel alive in the best way, can also show us the real dimension of this process of death in every day life.

Its again the negotiation between pain and pleasure. Its the ability of pretending that its not happening and it will be a complete surprise at the end. Its ignoring the predictability of the story in order to keep it going.

The connection between us and the things, the feeling of community, love, fear; How can we let go of that all and just choose? I guess at the end it would be just another sacrifice on top of the rest of those. This is also being connected to the rest. Connecting in order to disconnect.

Its saying YES or No.

And its confusing.
…

to be continued.